C-Suite Limericks – Benefits from Business Analytic

I am certain that I have broken the rules of meters in my limerick poem below. My excuse is that I am not a poet !

My limerick has two halves: (1) the first half describes companies with problems since they have not adopted analytics-based enterprise performance management methods and systems; and (2) the second half describes companies that have. Each of the two sets of limericks describes four key functional roles in this order:

I am certain that I have broken the rules of meters in my limerick poem below. My excuse is that I am not a poet !

My limerick has two halves: (1) the first half describes companies with problems since they have not adopted analytics-based enterprise performance management methods and systems; and (2) the second half describes companies that have. Each of the two sets of limericks describes four key functional roles in this order:

• CIO (Chief Information Officer)
• CFO (Chief Financial Officer)
• CMO (Chief Marketing Officer)
• CEO (Chief Executive Officer)   

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C-Suite Business Analytics Limericks

OBLIVIOUS COMPANIES

There once was CIO from Mord (Inc.)

whose analysts were usually bored.

With no BI tools,

they looked like fools.

So to other employers they soared.

There once was a CFO with Weens (Inc.)

Whose accountants just counted the beans.

The users doubted reporting accuracy and reliability

and made bad decisions with such poor visibility.

His company became smithereens.

There once was a CMO with Gayling (Inc.)

whose idea for marketing campaigns was a mass mailing.

They had no insight of customer needs

so their CRM analysts were lost in the weeds.

No wonder his company was failing.

There once was a CEO with De Supplement (Inc.)

Who hired VPs who were incompetent.

With no strategy map, balanced scorecard, or KPIs

any evidence of accountability was just lies.

So into bankruptcy they ultimately went.

ENLIGHTENED COMPANIES

There once was a CIO with Diamittix (Inc.)

whose users embraced analytics.

They could hypothesize, test, and explore

yielding insights and great decisions galore.

There was no problem they couldn’t fix.

There once was a CFO with Treasure (Inc.)

who understood the right things to measure.

Customer profitability analysis and forecasts were spot on.

So good they were relied upon.

And company teamwork became a pleasure.

There once was a CMO from Tritation (Inc.)

who leveraged his customer information.

They could mine data and provide predictions

that gave deep insights without contradictions.

The result was his company’s salvation.

There once was a CEO from Victament (Inc.)

who installed analytics-based performance management.

She created a culture of metrics and facts

that aligned everyone’s performance to the max.

It was her career’s shining accomplishment.