Cookies help us display personalized product recommendations and ensure you have great shopping experience.

By using this site, you agree to the Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
Accept
SmartData CollectiveSmartData Collective
  • Analytics
    AnalyticsShow More
    data analytics and truck accident claims
    How Data Analytics Reduces Truck Accidents and Speeds Up Claims
    7 Min Read
    predictive analytics for interior designers
    Interior Designers Boost Profits with Predictive Analytics
    8 Min Read
    image fx (67)
    Improving LinkedIn Ad Strategies with Data Analytics
    9 Min Read
    big data and remote work
    Data Helps Speech-Language Pathologists Deliver Better Results
    6 Min Read
    data driven insights
    How Data-Driven Insights Are Addressing Gaps in Patient Communication and Equity
    8 Min Read
  • Big Data
  • BI
  • Exclusive
  • IT
  • Marketing
  • Software
Search
© 2008-25 SmartData Collective. All Rights Reserved.
Reading: Data Quality Whitepapers are Worthless
Share
Notification
Font ResizerAa
SmartData CollectiveSmartData Collective
Font ResizerAa
Search
  • About
  • Help
  • Privacy
Follow US
© 2008-23 SmartData Collective. All Rights Reserved.
SmartData Collective > Uncategorized > Data Quality Whitepapers are Worthless
Uncategorized

Data Quality Whitepapers are Worthless

JimHarris
JimHarris
6 Min Read
SHARE

During a 1609 interview, William Shakespeare was asked his opinion about an emerging genre of theatrical writing known as Data Quality Whitepapers.  The “Bard of Avon” was clearly not a fan.  His famously satirical response was:

Data quality’s but a writing shadow, a poor paper

That struts and frets its words upon the page

And then is heard no more:  it is a tale

Told by a vendor, full of sound and fury

Signifying nothing.

 

Four centuries later, I find myself in complete agreement with Shakespeare (and not just because Harold Bloom told me so).

 

More Read

How fast is 3G and what is 3.5G and when will 4G really be here?
The Smart Data Collective Is Looking For a Community Manager!
The 4 Types of Data Analytics [VIDEO]
Survey: technology investments boost odds of success
The Evolution of “What is Data Science?”

Today is April Fool’s Day, but I am not joking around – call Dennis Miller and Lewis Black – because I am ready to RANT.

 

I am sick and tired of reading whitepapers.  Here is my “Bottom Ten List” explaining why: 

  1. Ones that make me fill out a “please mercilessly spam me later” contact information form before I am allowed to download them remind me of Mrs. Bun: “I DON’T LIKE SPAM!”
  2. Ones that after I read their supposed pearls of wisdom, make me shake my laptop violently like an Etch-A-Sketch.  I have lost count of how many laptops I have destroyed this way.  I have s..…

During a 1609 interview, William Shakespeare was asked his opinion about an emerging genre of theatrical writing known as Data Quality Whitepapers.  The “Bard of Avon” was clearly not a fan.  His famously satirical response was:

Data quality’s but a writing shadow, a poor paper

That struts and frets its words upon the page

And then is heard no more:  it is a tale

Told by a vendor, full of sound and fury

Signifying nothing.

 

Four centuries later, I find myself in complete agreement with Shakespeare (and not just because Harold Bloom told me so).

 

Today is April Fool’s Day, but I am not joking around – call Dennis Miller and Lewis Black – because I am ready to RANT.

 

I am sick and tired of reading whitepapers.  Here is my “Bottom Ten List” explaining why: 

  1. Ones that make me fill out a “please mercilessly spam me later” contact information form before I am allowed to download them remind me of Mrs. Bun: “I DON’T LIKE SPAM!”
  2. Ones that after I read their supposed pearls of wisdom, make me shake my laptop violently like an Etch-A-Sketch.  I have lost count of how many laptops I have destroyed this way.  I have starting buying them in bulk at Wal-Mart.
  3. Ones comprised entirely of the exact same information found on the vendor’s website make www = World Wide Worthless.
  4. Ones that start out good, but just when they get to the really useful stuff, refer to content only available to paying customers.  What a great way to guarantee that neither I nor anyone I know will ever become your paying customer!
  5. Ones that have a “Shock and Awe” title followed by “Aw Shucks” content because apparently the entire marketing budget was spent on the title.
  6. Ones that promise me the latest BUZZ but deliver only ZZZ are not worthless only when I have insomnia.
  7. Ones that claim to be about data quality, but have nothing at all to do with data quality:  “…don’t make me angry.  You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”
  8. Ones that take the adage “a picture is worth a thousand words” too far by using a dizzying collage of logos, charts, graphs and other visual aids.  This is one reason we’re happy that Pablo Picasso was a painter.  However, he did once write that “art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.”  Maybe he was defending whitepapers.
  9. Ones that use acronyms without ever defining what they stand for remind me of that scene from Good Morning, Vietnam: “Excuse me, sir.  Seeing as how the VP is such a VIP, shouldn’t we keep the PC on the QT?  Because if it leaks to the VC he could end up MIA, and then we’d all be put out in KP.”
  10. Ones that really know they’re worthless but aren’t honest about it.  Don’t promise me “The Top 10 Metrics for Data Quality Scorecards” and give me a list as pointless as this one.

 

I am officially calling out all writers of Data Quality Whitepapers. 

Shakespeare and I both believe that you can’t write anything about data quality that is worth reading. 

Send your data quality whitepapers to Obsessive-Compulsive Data Quality and if it is not worthless, then I will let the world know that you proved Shakespeare and I wrong.

 

And while I am on a rant roll, I am officially calling out all Data Quality Bloggers.

The International Association for Information and Data Quality (IAIDQ) is celebrating its five year anniversary by hosting:

El Festival del IDQ Bloggers – A Blog Carnival for Information/Data Quality Bloggers

For more information about the blog carnival, please follow this link:  IAIDQ Blog Carnival

Link to original post

TAGGED:data qualitywhitepapers
Share This Article
Facebook Pinterest LinkedIn
Share

Follow us on Facebook

Latest News

AI Document Verification for Legal Firms: Importance & Top Tools
AI Document Verification for Legal Firms: Importance & Top Tools
Artificial Intelligence Exclusive
AI supply chain
AI Tools Are Strengthening Global Supply Chains
Artificial Intelligence Exclusive
data analytics and truck accident claims
How Data Analytics Reduces Truck Accidents and Speeds Up Claims
Analytics Big Data Exclusive
predictive analytics for interior designers
Interior Designers Boost Profits with Predictive Analytics
Analytics Exclusive Predictive Analytics

Stay Connected

1.2kFollowersLike
33.7kFollowersFollow
222FollowersPin

You Might also Like

DQ-View: Is Data Quality the Sun?

1 Min Read

Sign this contract here: its all free…Or is it?

5 Min Read

Data Quality – Technology’s Prune

6 Min Read

Data Quality, Collaboration and Baseball

5 Min Read

SmartData Collective is one of the largest & trusted community covering technical content about Big Data, BI, Cloud, Analytics, Artificial Intelligence, IoT & more.

ai is improving the safety of cars
From Bolts to Bots: How AI Is Fortifying the Automotive Industry
Artificial Intelligence
ai chatbot
The Art of Conversation: Enhancing Chatbots with Advanced AI Prompts
Chatbots

Quick Link

  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy
Follow US
© 2008-25 SmartData Collective. All Rights Reserved.
Go to mobile version
Welcome Back!

Sign in to your account

Username or Email Address
Password

Lost your password?